#john marston deserves better

[johnmarstonisawolf]

I love both John and Arthur

“RDR1 Represents John’s Character Growth” Argument… 

I’ve seen people get blocked for disagreeing with the types of posts that complain about “Rdr fans disliking John’s characterization in rdr2”.  I’d rather just agree to disagree but if anyone doesn’t like where this post is going, please feel free to use the block button.

Also, in this post, I am repeating some things I’ve written in past responses/posts. Plus I have read other fans’ posts and opinions about this topic, which will be sprinkled throughout this post. 

Here it goes… Mainly for me, it’s the ret-con. It’s not that John can’t be this man with flaws, but in the first game (rdr1) they hint a lot at John (when he’d been in the gang in the past tense, before the events in rdr2) being this quixotic, well-spoken, “right-hand man of Dutch”, which were traits that were all given to Arthur in rdr2. Even Bill and Abigail hint at this. If you want to hear another rdr fan go more in-depth about this, read here. Plus Rockstar in so many words had explained why they made John a humiliation conga because they didn’t want John to “overshadow” Arthur. 

Yes, Arthur is older and yes, John could’ve been influenced by Arthur (but only by so much, I mean, c’mon John and Arthur are their own person). Yet the fact that Arthur is not even mentioned in rdr1 (yes, rdr2 hadn’t even been created yet. I know.) and they decided to “downgrade” John in rdr2 and give all of these admirable traits (they allude to in rdr1 about John) to Arthur is what baffles me. 

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Arthur’s character. However, it’s the high pedestal that this fandom puts him on, emphasizing his positive traits while continually bashing John in the process, that does me in.

We get it, John wasn’t a good father or a good husband, he treats his wife and kid like crap (he gets better tho), he deserves whatever criticism he gets for those horrible actions of his, but we got to remember this is the Wild West; Abigail nor John had the resources or skills to deal with their own trauma much less even raise a boy in a gang, especially Abigail. But that’s not downplaying the fact that John is a very emotionally-mentally damaged person (as a result of many forms of abuse and being raised by Dutch, Hosea, and Arthur, who aren’t the best examples) while at the same time, Abigail is a very emotionally-mentally damaged person (as a result of many forms of abuse and being raised and working in a brothel) who’s had to carry a kid for 9 months and march on through with barely having much help, aside from some individuals in the gang who helped her—I’m not gonna go with the narrative that not a single person in the gang helped. 

Listen, it’s not that we can’t handle seeing John being this pathetic version of himself that the devs chose to portray him as in rdr2 (so he wouldn’t overshadow Arthur and lazy writing) or that we can’t watch him grow from this immature and flawed human being to a man who loves his wife and child and would do anything for them… but it’s how it was done and how rockstar did it. 

They also did Johnny boy’s physical character design very poorly in the epilogue; in the epilogue (1907) he barely showcases any of the traits we see in (1911) rdr1 (a four-year difference, timeline-wise, which really isn’t that long). Although NPC John and Epilogue John might look different from each other, their personalities aren’t much different. So there’s not much of a change in my opinion.

Also, I just want to clarify that this post isn’t about the fandom preferring Arthur over John but more so about how John’s characterization was done in rdr2 compared to rdr1, which can’t merely be attributed to “character growth” rather than lazy writing.  Understandably, many people prefer Arthur over John. Hence compared to the first game, rdr2 has better accessibility, players get to go more into the protagonist’s mind, and many game mechanics have improved/developed since rdr1 was released. But rdr1 was an acclaimed game when it came out with many fans that still remain in this fandom, in spite of rdr2’s wider exposure. 

And if I was going to mention anything that the games were kind of consistent with when it came to John’s characterization, is that he has a dry and cynical personality that reflects the protagonists of old spaghetti westerns, and the unforgiving world that makes up the Wild West.

Personally, while I do like his character in both games (he’s my fave) I still feel like there’s a bit more they could’ve done with his character in rdr2, in regards to missions and stuff, I would even say the devs had put more effort into some supporting characters compared to John, but that’s just my opinion. And I was really hoping for a rdr1 remaster but more so in a Yakuza Kiwami way (amped-up gameplay, fixed plot holes, better character detail, quality improvements, etc…)

[javierduffy]

transing jack marston’s gender because john marston was born to be a girldad

[fablexdreams]

John and Dutch's relationship has me sobbing on a good day and having a full on mental breakdown on a bad one. If Arthur is like Hosea, then John is like Dutch; authority issues, conflicting emotions, false bravado, and all. If John seeing Dutch in rdr2, "broke his heart," I don't even wanna imagine what he was going through during and after THAT scene in the first game. It's clear, and literally stated by John himself, how much he loves Dutch, and how conflicted his feelings are toward him. The thought of John finding out that Dutch, the only father figure he has left alive, the man who saved him from hanging and gave him a family at the age of 12, was gonna leave him die in prison, and then later on the train...it...I'm so normal about this; it's fine.

[ghost-qwq]

silly little characters in my screen, surely nothing will go wrong with them ^^

[daisydood]

why cant the red dead developers leave ONE main character happy. they made three protagonists and they either died in a horrible way or are now extremely sad and lonely. jack has absolutely no one unless he can track down Sadie or Charles i am gonna be SICK

[choco-1601]

Sometimes I find it amusing how people seem to dump all of their anger on micah when it was dutch who started this whole mess. Micah deserves the blame obv but let's not forget dutch was so eager to rob that train in the FIRST CHAPTER instead of laying low. Even hosea was against him. They barely escaped the heat from Blackwater too. Look hate micah all u want but remember dutch also has blood of all the gang members that has passed away in his hands as well as micah. He's stupid, narcissistic and pretty much a cult leader. He has a brain but he lost the ability to think after the Blackwater shit. Can't believe people still blame the trolley accident for his brain damage lmfao thats the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.

I hate dutch bc he abandoned John and eventually abandoned Arthur too. Him killing micah didn't mean anything bc he became way way worse in rdr

[mango-harvest]

and that folks, was my first time ever drawing bill, and just as i expected i fucking hated it

[por-queeee]

Ooooh I am SCREAMING about this still thank you again for drawing them for me Lego. They are giving me the will to live right now.

Everyone should go commission Lego, she is an art god

true canon ending to rdr2

commission for @neonxdecay / @por-queeee!!

[lesbian-for-arthur-morgan]

Request : first time holding hands

I’d love to see their reactions 😭

First Time Holding Hands

Short Headcanons || Gender Neutral Language!

Genre: Fluff Featuring: Arthur Morgan, John Marston, Dutch Van Der Linde, Javier Escuella, Charles Smith, Sean MacGuire, and Sadie Adler Warnings: None

AN: A shorter post today! Thank you so much for requesting these were so fun to write I literally love doing cute little moments with these characters ~ I hope I answered the way you meant !! lol I feel like I got a little off track in some ---> Requests are open! Check out guidelines if you have any questions :)

<><><><>

Arthur Morgan:

This man is a nervous wreck around you. Especially when you first start showing feelings for each other.

It took a million years for him to even admit that he was a little sweet on you, he is definitely not initiating anything past that point.

He can barely believe that you like him back.

The first time you grab his hand is not during anything special.

You’re sitting in the front of a wagon with him while on the way into town. The sun is casting a golden sheen across the earth, the air is warm but not hot, and the birds are swooping and playing in the sky overhead.

Without much thought you reach down to where he’s resting his arm on his thigh and envelope his hand with your own.

He tenses up at the contact, scared to make any sudden moves in case he might scare you away.

He doesn’t look at you directly, instead just glancing at you from the side of his eye. He wonders if you meant to do that or if you just did it by accident.

How your hand would end up on his on his thigh he doesn’t know.

When your thumb starts stroking the skin around his knuckle, tough and calloused from a few too many brawls, he starts to melt and relax a little bit.

He flips his hand around, which makes you pull away slightly, and fits his fingers in between yours. That way he’s holding your hand back and it’s a mutual.

There’s a blush on his cheeks and a grin on his lips. Not a word is spoken, but Arthur relishes the comfortable silence as he tries to think of what on earth he could have done to deserve something so perfect - to deserve you.

John Marston:

John is not a touchy-feely kind of guy. Not at first anyways. He doesn’t get what you see in him. He doesn’t understand why of all the men in the world - Hell, all the men in camp - you chose to waste your time with him.

He’s angsty like that.

He knows of your feelings for him and he gave a strong inclination that he might like you back but never confessed anything really. He figured you understood him enough to know.

You did, but he’s hard to read sometimes.

The first time you hold hands, he actually initiates it. You try not to overstep any boundaries with him, so he always has to make the first moves.

While playing a few practice rounds of poker (John is trying to teach you to play/play better), jokes are being thrown back and forth and rocks are being used as chips for show.

When John’s focus is pulled to the cards in his hands, you take the opportunity to try and grab a few rocks from his pile to add to your own as a little joke.

John catches you and places his large hand on top of your own making you freeze. A smug grin is plastered on his face and he doesn’t even look at you before placing his cards down, showing off a winning hand.

“Read ‘em and weep, Darlin’,” He laughs but never removes his hand from yours.

A small blush rises to your cheeks and his gaze falls to your combined hands. He curls his fingers under your own so that he’s fully holding your hand in his.

You try to catch his eye, but he’s so focused on his large, scarred hand covering your softer skin. It eats at him a little; a guilty feeling settles into his chest.

You place your other hand on his cheek and press on it lightly to direct his head to look at you. You smile one of your so-sweet smiles that makes his stomach ache a little with admiration, and he grins.

The two of you sit there for a while and continue trying to play poker each with one hand.

Dutch Van Der Linde:

Dutch has always been really hands-on with you. (Wink Wink)

He’s flamboyant, a show-off, cocky, and passionate. He loves to show you off and show off to everyone that you are his.

The first time he holds your hand, it’s to explicitly show that you are his and he is yours.

Most times after that, when Dutch holds your hand it means that the two of you are connected, not two people but one. Not just a couple but a unit.

He’s dramatic that way.

The very first time he holds your hand is during an argument with Hosea. A few things about camp affairs come up, plans are being thrown around, and Hosea makes a comment suggesting that you don’t need to be there for their conversation.

Dutch glares at the older man and reaches down to grasp your hand in his.

“But Daddy I love him!” Vibes I’m not going to lie.

He stands a little taller now that he’s touching you, it makes him feel stronger and more sure of what he’s saying. He puffs out his chest and looks down his nose at Hosea.

Hosea rolls his eyes a little and puts his hands up in surrender, telling Dutch that he can do what he wants.

When Hosea leaves, Dutch uses your entwined hands to pull you towards his side a little bit and hold you in an embrace.

He calls you his partner in crime, his other half, and a million other sultry things he can think of that causes a heat to rise in your chest.

He doesn’t let you go for the rest of the night after that, choosing to show off to the rest of the gang members that you two belong together and will always be.

Javier Escuella:

Javier values romance in a relationship.

Maybe nothing incredibly grand - but sweet notes, acts of service, small gifts here and there - he likes to show you how much he loves you through actions more than anything else.

All that and more is shown later on in your relationship. At first, though, Javier is more protective than romantic when it comes to you. It keeps him from showing his emotions at times, and makes him oblivious to your feelings other times.

He just doesn’t know what’s too much because he feels a lot of things, but he wonders if showing all that too soon will scare you away. His feelings are so intense that he gets scared away from you sometimes.

The first time he holds your hand is when you knick yourself while trying to do tricks with one of his knives.

You envy the way he’s able to just do the flips and graceful switches with the blades, and even how he can effortlessly play that five-finger-fillet game.

So, naturally, you try to replicate a trick you’ve seen him do a million times and it ends with a little gash on the heel of your palm.

It’s barely bleeding and looks more like a scrape, but as you hiss in pain Javier has forgotten his chore as he rushes to see what you’ve done to yourself.

He tsks at you and gently wraps his fingers around your wrist to get a better look at the wound.

You’ve forgotten the scrape at this point as his touch is sending jolts of adrenaline through your arm and his face is so close to yours you could count his eyelashes if you wanted to.

He doesn’t notice, too busy looking to see if you’ve mortally wounded yourself. When he’s satisfied that you won’t die, he looks up at your face (Which is dark with a blush and you’re trying to avert your gaze from him, but you just can’t).

He doesn’t understand what’s gotten into you until he sees your joined hands and a knowing grin cracks into his face.

“I’ll kiss it, make it better,” He murmurs and presses a slow, tender kiss to the palm of your hand while gazing up into your eyes the entire time.

He knows what he’s doing.

Charles Smith:

I genuinely feel like Charles is the most well rounded of the group when it comes to his emotions and how he conveys what he’s feeling to you.

Communication king for sure.

The first time Charles holds your hand it’s like he’s always done it.

It’s so natural to him that there really is no concrete first time that changed the meaning of your relationship or created some big deal.

Charles isn’t really someone who likes to show off and isn’t into public displays of affection. Brief hugs and hand holding are the only things he can bring himself to do with you if there are other people present.

He likes to hold your hand a lot despite that. Kissing, groping, or anything even a little heated is a big no for him (in private it is another story), so he likes to have your hands intertwined more often than not.

At first he would come up to you and hold his hand out, palm up, with a quirked brow as if asking you to place your hand in his. You oblige, of course, and he would follow you around camp or vice versa.

Now, Charles doesn’t even bother asking before he comes up to you and just grabs your hand whenever he sees you.

There’s no question about it, the two of you are always connected.

If he can see you he is by your side holding on to you.

It’s not possessive (unlike Dutch cough cough), but it’s more for his own comfort. He likes being near you and he likes that you seem to enjoy being near him.

Charles finds his twin flame in you, his other half. Much more than a soulmate, but his person.

Sean MacGuire:

Sean never really knows where the two of you stand in terms of a relationship.

He flirts with you over and over and over again. You laugh and blush occasionally, but end up telling him to shut up and wandering off.

He knows that he can come off as a sarcastic ass, but he didn’t realize that it’s so intense that you can’t even tell that he’s genuinely trying to get you to notice him as more than a friend/fellow gang member.

The thing is, it is hard for you to tell. Sean isn’t known for being the most serious guy in the world and you’ll be damned if you let him make fun of you by flirting with you and making you swoon or something.

The first time you hold hands with Sean is also consequently the first time you see Sean’s feelings for you are genuine, not some trick.

You turn away from Sean after he’s thrown yet another flirty remark at you, but before you even have the chance to mutter “Shut up, MacGuire” He’s shot out and wrapped his fingers around your own in a strong grip. It doesn’t hurt, but you can’t just pull away and tell him to stop messing around.

You turn back and look down at your conjoined hands.

“Please,” He begs and pulls you an inch closer. “Listen to me.”

You can hardly focus on anything but the warmth of his hand in yours and the way it makes your heart swell and tingle.

He explains his feelings for you, every last one of them. Some were a little more explicit and detailed than you expected, but you appreciated the straight forward honesty.

Let’s just say after that conversation the two of you hold hands and more pretty often in the future.

Sadie Adler:

Sadie and you hold hands all the time. She literally cannot tell how you feel about her.

Is this a friendship? Is it more? She has no idea because you’re so comfortable with her that the line between friends and partners is so blurred Sadie isn’t even sure if there was a line to begin with.

One night, you and Sadie are lying outside the tent that you share stargazing. Sadie is telling you what she knows about the stars and you chime in every now and then with your own little details. She loves the excitement in your voice when you remember the story to a constellation or find one that you hadn’t notice last time.

Your bodies are close, but your hands are closer. Lying in the grass, Sadie can feel the heat from your fingers and hers twitch and beg to touch yours.

She’s nervous, though, to take the relationship further. She doesn’t know if she’s ready to admit what she wants.

While she’s debating if it’s worth it, your pinky finger stretches and curls around her own. She audibly gasps at the action and her head whips over to see if you realize what you’re doing.

You’re already gazing at her with soft eyes and a small smile. It makes her bones turn to jelly at the sight and she tries to speak, but the only thing that escapes her mouth are sharp exhales as her words get tangled in her throat.

She tightens her pinky finger around yours, and you understand the meaning behind it.

It was all still confusing, but Sadie knew one thing: Friends don’t look at each other like that.

<><><><>

I love Sadie so much y'all don't even know

Hope you enjoyed!!

[yourlocalhistorynerd315]

God, why does Jack Marston have to have such a sad life. He loses so many people he sees as family, especially Arthur, in RDR2. Micah wanted to leave him orphaned in RDR2 when the Pinkertons took Abigail to hang her and when John was presumed dead. He loses so many people that were close to him so quickly, he didn't even have time to process it. Then in RDR1 He loses Uncle and his father in a matter of minutes and then loses his mother not even four years later. There's dialogue from Jack in RDR1 (dependent on your honor level from what I heard) that just shows Jack is incredibly depressed. He deserves so much better

[cherriiramen]

My little scrunklies..🥺🥺

They comfort me sm I love them <333

everyone's two favourite drunkards <3

this didn't take me long and it was only supposed to be a doodle but it came out so much better than i expected 😳

i love these two more than i should, and i love drawing them together. whether you see them as brothers, friends, lovers or anything else everyone had to admit they're fucking adorable together 🙄👋

anywho! have a good day everyone :]

[fablexdreams]

Do yall think that John was hurt and jealous when he found out that Dutch and Hosea went fishing with Arthur at the start of chapter 3 but didn't bring him? Idk, the mission just felt...wrong without him, y'know? Maybe I'm projecting, but I'd feel so left out and alone if I was John lmao. Everyone always thinks and says that John is Dutch's favorite, that he's the 'golden boy', but he is left out of things and pushed aside an awful lot for being so golden. Even with the random stories we get about the 'old days' from the gang sometimes, it hardly ever feels like John has any of them. John has always given me lonely vibes, and i know a lot of people argue that its just his lone wolf personality, but I can't help but wonder if it's by choice or not. If that's how John wanted it to be, or if it was just what he had always known. I just wish we could have gotten more moments of Dutch, Hosea, Arthur, and John all together. It all started, and ended, with them after all.

[pinkysberg]

i may adore john marston w my whole heart and soul but u will never catch me saying he deserved better treatment from abigail at any point. EVER. 1899, 1907, 1911, you name it and abigail was treating him exactly how he deserved.

[brothermoth]

songs that give me rdr2 feels

Dust in the Wind — Kansas (it's Arthur's song, full stop. Themes of futility and the realization that life is fleeting? It's him, baby.)

All the Pretty Horses — Laura Gibson (Kieran's song without a doubt. That grubby little man deserved so much better)

For a Few Good Men— Amigo the Devil (another Arthur song. It feels so bittersweet and full of longing, really just makes me think of him and Mary and the life they could have had).

Welcome Home, Son — Radical Face (God this song just has Jack vibes. Its very Marston family coded).

Borealis— The Huntress and Holder of Hands (John and Abigail song. Thank you)

Wolf— First Aid Kit (Marston family depression. I love them so much guys)

[softrozene]

Rdr2 Masterlist 2020-2021

As the title says, this is all my rdr2- One Shots, Scenarios, and Headcanons from these years when I wrote it under @/lovingoutlaws!

Headcanons/Scenarios usually have 2-3 characters in it while the Character list focuses on that character!

*If a work doesn’t specify a gender the reader is Gender Neutral/Non-Binary!

Started January 10, 2020

Ended January 6, 2021

ao3 backup link.

Headcanons:

Character Reactions to Dutch wanting a night with their girl: Arthur, John, Javier x Female Reader. They ain’t happy about Dutch having the audacity to ask to have a night with their woman.

Comforting Female Reader who has experienced an assault: Male!Various x Female Reader. Just hurt/comfort for some rdr2 men finding out reader experienced a past assault on her.

Doing the little romantic things for their s/o : Headcanons. Arthur, Charles, and John doing little romantic things for reader.

Being Romantic with Their S/O: Headcanons. Javier and Kieran being romantic with their partner, reader.

New Relationship with a Male S/O: Abigail Roberts/Marston and Sadie Adler headcanons in a relationship with a new partner.

Reader Getting into a Fight: Headcanons on how Arthur, Dutch, and John would react to Reader getting into a fight.

Reaction to Shy Adopted Girl: Headcanons on how Arthur, Dutch, and Hosea would react to adopting a shy girl into the gang and how their protectiveness is wholesome.

Short and Feisty Female S/O who Likes to Cuddle: Arthur, Charles, Javier, John, Sean x Female reader. Headcanons on how they react to this type of partner. Fluff.

Stargazing Headcanons: Arthur, Charles, Hosea x Reader. Just some fluffy stargazing headcanons.

Characters:

Abigail Roberts (Marston):

Deserve Better: Abigail x Female Reader. Reader confesses to Abigail after she asks for advice on what to do about John.

Arthur Morgan:

Arthur Turning into a Parent : Arthur x female reader (Father-daughter relationship) fluff headcanons and bonus scenario.

Arthur Comforts reader with past assault: Arthur x Male Reader scenario. Arthur gives some advice/words of comfort when Reader vents to him about a traumatizing experience.

Arthur with a Touch-Starved Reader: Arthur x Reader. Headcanons on how he notices reader is touch-starved and just pure fluff.

Father Headcanons: How Arthur would be with a son, pure fluffy and wholesome headcanons.

Just a Few Minutes: Arthur x Female Reader (Slight n s f w). Arthur is really riled up from seeing how pretty his woman is. He just wants a few minutes with her during a mission. F in chat for Molly’s shawl.

Charles Smith:

Getting Caught: Charles x Female Reader (n s f w). You and Charles get caught doing the do ; )

Hurt Little Bird: Charles x Female Reader. Charles is worried when his partner is taking a while from coming back to camp after a hunt. He goes to search for her and is relieved to find her.

Dutch:

Dutch with a Super Affectionate S/O: headcanons on how Dutch would act with a super affectionate partner both sfw and n s f w.

Dutch with a Younger S/O: headcanons on how Dutch would act with a younger female partner. Both sfw and n s f w

Javier Escuella:

Jealous Javier: Javier x Reader. How Javier reacts when he gets jealous in a n s f w way.

Spanish Flirtations: Javier x Male Reader. Male reader tries to flirt with Javier in his mother tongue only to fail a few pick-up lines. Javier finds it endearing.

John Marston:

Birthday Trip : John Marston x Female Reader. John takes reader on a ‘romantic’ trip for her birthday only for a bunch of accidents to happen along the way. But no worries, it was still a good trip.

John with a Pregnant S/O: John x Female Reader. Reader is worried about telling John about her pregnancy after she heard what happened to Abigail. Arthur reassures her when John finally comes back from a mission.

Josiah Trewlany:

Miss Me: Josiah x Reader. Josiah comes back beat and battered worrying poor reader who would really miss him if something were to happen to him. He is grateful since reader holds a special place in his heart.

Kieran Duffy:

Kieran Reacting to Panic Attacks: Kieran x Reader. How he will help reader during a panic attack.

Lenny Summers:

Fear: Lenny x Male Reader. Lenny wants to come out to the gang since he and (Name) are official, but reader has some fears to talk through.

Molly O’Shea:

Dutch Gets Bamboozled: Molly x Female Reader. Molly finally accepts the offer of the woman she has been seeing behind Dutch’s back. Dutch is livid.

Dutch Gets Bamboozled Part 2: Molly x Female Reader. Part 2 of the other one. Dutch finally gets to see how they are truly living after years have passed by and he is jealous.

Sean MacGuire:

Sean is Struggling: Sean x Female Reader. Ever since Sean has been tortured by the bounty hunters he has PTSD and has some problems with touch. Reader notices and wants to help him.

Sad Yee Haw Hours:

This is just an angst scenario starter event I did on the old tumblr, that I named Sad Yee-Haw Hours because (guess what) I was sad and wanted angst in my life lol. So literally all of these are just angst scenarios. Uh besides that I give warnings before each scenario.

“Everything is going to be okay”: Javier x Male Reader. Reader tells Javier that time heals all wounds :’)

“Please don’t leave me.”: Charles x Reader. Charles is begging reader not to leave them.

“Stop pushing everyone away.” Arthur x Reader x John. Reader is breaking these cowboys’ hearts.

“Just Go.” Josiah Trelawny x Female Reader. Reader finds out Josiah’s secret that he never wanted her to find out.

“Who is it going to be?” Molly x Female Reader. Reader finally asks Molly who she truly wants to be with. Her or Dutch? Reader gets the answer she expected but it still hurts.

“You Can’t Play the Victim Here.” - Arthur Morgan x Female Reader. Reader wants to leave the gang with Arthur and Arthur is confused to why until she reveals something.

“I Thought You Were Dead.” - Charles Smith x Female Reader. Charles finally finds Reader after searching for her (and losing himself) for so long. He wishes he can turn back time.

“Please Look at Me.” Charles Smith x Reader. Reader royally messed up by hurting this man.

“Everything is Going to be Okay.” Arthur Morgan x Male Reader. Very angsty, in which reader stays with Arthur during his last moments.

“You Remind me of Someone.” Sean Macguire x Female Reader. Sean is a complete jerk in this as he messes with Reader’s feelings.

“This Will Never Work.” Andrew Milton x Male Reader. Andrew and Reader have one last meeting before things go terrible for Reader.

[nthspecialll]

Jovier Hanahaki Disease

John Marston had been sick for a year, coughing fits so violent that his body had compulsed, but he had told no one, not a single soul because he barely dared admit to himself what it meant for him and his fate. The death that awaited him when his body would no longer have the strength to force up the flowers blooming in his lungs and tearing his throat to blood as he tried not to suffocate on them. He wondered if the thorns left the same scars on his lungs as the wolves had on his face, if he finally was as ugly inside as he felt outside.

He could feel the thorns poke at his insides, stabbing him at every rapid, enchanted breath he took when he laid eyes on the man he knew that he could never have, the man with the most beautiful voice he had ever heard, the man with the wonderful personality that always knew when to comfort and when to tease John. The man with his silly little mustache and humor that always made John laugh, a laugh that by then was deadly and could cost him his life, not that he could stop himself.

The man that no doubt deserved better than broken, scarred John Marston.

It wasn't that he didn't love Abigail, because he did, he loved her with all his heart but he never loved her in the same way he loved him, he had never been able to. He had tried, oh how desperately he had tried, it had never been an issue before he ran away, before he truly learned what it meant to love, before he got sick. But then he got back and there he was, that man sitting in the glow of the campfire, looking so beautiful as his voice was carried off into the night after warming John's heart and planting the seeds of painful yearning.

It had been nighttime, a quiet night after the day's tough work and an even more painful evening listening and admiring the person he held so dear, when John had felt his throat itch and he had had to run out of his tent. He fell to his knees in the soft sand by the beach separating the camp at Clemens Point and the surrounding lake, one hand at his throat, another in the sand as he began to cough.

His eyes were watering and his body jerked as a thorn grabbed onto his throat and refused to budge like a piece of Pearson's terrible strew getting down the wrong throat, except a thousand times more agonizing.

In his pain-filled moments, merely trying to make it to the next day, he had no way of noticing the person coming up behind him as he finally got the rose free and spat it into his hands where blood seeped off it and formed a pool in his palms.

"It was never me you loved, was it? Your heart belongs to someone else."

John froze. He did not need to turn around to know who it was, to be able to hear the hurt in Abigail's voice and know that her eyes would hold the exact same hurt as the one he was in. John Marston knew that his unrequited love for Javier Escuella would in the end cost him his life, he only prayed his wrongful desire wouldn't cost Abigail Roberts hers.

___

I love Hanahaki Disease so much, I don’t even know if people like Hanahaki disease anymore but i remember it being popular years back and it still has a firm grasp on my neck so here we are.